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July 24, 2012

Relationships: Is He Your Type or the Marrying Type?

Too often I find myself attracted to a certain "type" of guy.  My type of guy has swag, style, confidence, charm, etc.  Much more often, I find that relationships with my "type" of man never work out because they usually have many ladies that are fighting for their affection and trust me, I will never fight over a man.  Much further beyond competition is the fact that my type is usually not the settling down kind.

What I'm coming to realize is that for as long as I can remember, my type of guy was only able to fill a temporary void when it came to relationships and never seemed to stick around for the long haul.  Nor were they capable of having a real relationship equipped with ups and downs, growth and sustainability. 

Now I find myself almost 32 years old and single....again! I am now forced to reevaluate the thinking and choices that got me where I am today.  My conclusion is that I've always been attracted to the wrong type of guys.  A six pack and big muscles won't hold you tight at night, nor will it calm your fears and support you through thick and thin.  I am now redefining my type to include qualities that don't address physical attributes, such as a willingness to settle down, build a foundation and start a family.  Other qualities that I am now more keenly focused on are commitment, trust, loyalty and honesty.

People always say you can have it all, but I constantly wonder if that is really the case.  Most of my peers that are getting married seem to have the right idea about what the "marrying type" is.  I do want to get married eventually and possibly have kids and I realize now that my "type" isn't the "marrying type".  I'm ready to shed past hurts, disappointments and misconceptions to find the love that I truly want and deserve.  I am a work in progress, but now I feel I am progressing in the right direction towards the goals I want to achieve in my life.  So I'm saying goodbye to my "type" and hello to the "marrying type".  This will take time and lots of self reflection, but I feel now more than ever I am ready to claim my prize of true love and commitment.

LADIES: Do you find that your "type" of guy is not the "marrying type"?
Do you see similarities in your relationship life as how I have described above?
Do you often feel you get the short end of the stick in love and relationships?
Are you willing to reassess the "type" of man you need instead of the "type" of man you want?

1 comment:

  1. Your time will come. Sometimes its not you, its just timing. Of course you should make sure that your "approach" is as it should be but I've always prided myself on looking for the "real" kind of guy and that hasn't made me anymore successful. It's not my time so I wait patiently. And don't think that those married have it any better. I am a little pessimistic given all of the happily married men that approach me.


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