The Value Series by Pat Parker: Knowing Your Worth

My great friend Kenya Kirkland of Something Old, Something New Boutique in Los Angeles, as well as, the head of the Sugar Scout Couture design house, hosted a motivational series at Jessica Matlock's ByBy Studio on La Cienega.  The series featured motivational speaker, Pat Parker, and her cues for determining, developing and exercising your worth.  The series is geared towards women, who are too often met with individuals who are constantly trying to diminish their value.  Pat even explained in the beginning of her talk that people will always try to lessen your value to get more bang for their buck in any situation.  Therefore, it is up to the individual to know their value and what they bring to the table and never settle for less.

The energy in the room was dynamic and progressive.  The lowly lit studio lights were dim and votive candles played the background as Ms. Parker stepped to the front of the group at center stage.  Attendees sipped on champagne and snacked on refreshments, as the group ranged from business owners, fashion designers, writers, stylists, makeup artists, and bloggers like me.  Overall, everyone was there to hear the words that we all believed would lead to a higher state of consciousness for ourselves and our journey.

Pat started off her talk by explaining that she was once a very successeful head hunter for many of the top grossing corporations today, which afforded her a very affluent lifestyle.  However, with the demise of the economy, she soon saw herself without a job or livelihood.  After she lost her job and her savings was later depleted, she realized that she no longer knew who she was or where her value lied.  All those years acquiring materials things, climbing the corporate ladder and meeting people in high places left her with nothing of substantial value when it was all said and done.

Pat Parker then realized she had hit rock bottom, or a "plateau" as she calls it, yet was determined to live her life in her true value, that which could never be stripped from her like her fancy car and clothes from before.  Pat focused on many things throughout the lecture, highlighting key influences in determining ones personal wealth.  Statements that really stuck out to me were:

"What you survive, you will teach."
"What image have you become invested in?"
"True value is what you know for sure."
"What’s in your way? What is standing in between you and the vision of your life?"
"You need a breakthrough!"
"If you’re not in the position to reach back and help someone, that means you’re in “survival mode” and you need to reposition yourself."
"There is value in your struggles."
"Motivation + Action = Change"

The overall understanding I garnered from the series is that you must determine your own true value, for you and walk, eat and live in that value and never take less than what you are worth, no matter what the circumstances are.  Also, there is nothing standing in your way, but you, so in order to create dynamic change in your life you must reevaluate all of your personal issues and BREAKTHROUGH from struggling and surviving in order to thrive.

Pat Parker also focused on living a purpose-filled life, which lends to your true value and fulfillment.  The combination of your past struggles, failures and successes has created a unique YOU. A being that no one can be or duplicate. A being that can lend and contribute to help those enduring the same circumstances that once held you captive to your true value and purpose.  It is only through helping others, through this very purpose, do you discover your true value and become a force of help and strength instead of a force of negativity or strife.  Yet through these experiences, we learn our true purpose as children of the higher being who has blessed us with these unique gifts and experiences that make us who we are.

At the end of the segment, we all wrote down our career goals, with our names and put them in a fish bowl.  This exercise was focused on networking and supporting each other in our goals.  We were all instructed to speak to that person's goal by referring them to someone that could help them or push their dreams to the next step.

Kenya concluded the series by saying something that really touched my heart and made me truly realize what a valuable friend she was.  She said "I know where I'm going and I want all of you to be there with me".  The realization that I have some pretty cool friends with a valuable network really and truly made my weekend and I am forever greatful that she thought to include me in the series.  I look forward to the next series that she is cooking up in getting closer to KNOWING my true value.

KNOW YOUR VALUE!!!!

Share your thoughts
Do you really know your true value?
Have others tried to devalue you, in order to get something from you?
Have you hit a "plateau"?
Are you fulfilled in your current position in life?
Are you struggling and surviving or thriving?
Do you need a breakthrough?
Were any of the words above helpful in your journey to discovering your true value?
Would you like to be invited to the next series?

Thug Angel: RIP Tupac Amaru Shakur (June 16, 1971 – September 13, 1996)

Tupac Amaru Shakur, born Lesane Parish Crooks, lived an eventful life during his short 25 years on this earth.  His talent reached far and wide in the realm of acting, poetry, music, modeling, political advocacy and nationalism.  When trying to think of what to actually write about him to do his legacy justice, my mind suddenly comes to a blank.  How can I sum up everything he was and is to this very day?  How do I put into words the impact he had on the lives that he touched and affected through his music and advocacy?  What does come to mind is the recent memory of my younger sister, at the ripe age of 22, sitting in my living room and proclaiming that Tupac was not as influential in her life, musically, because he was stagnant character.  She explained to me that Tupac was too ghetto and had too much of a negative mentality to really do any good in the community.  I'm paraphrasing, but she basically did not understand why people are so hung up on Tupac and does not agree with those who see him as a freedom fighter, political advocate and activist, a poet, leader, and phenomenal artist.  To her, Tupac was a common ghetto thug.

Upon hearing this, my first reaction was to take her to the kitchen and wash her mouth out with soap for using such foul language about one of my heroes.  How could she say such things about Tupac?  Does she really know his legacy and what he went through and what he did, which ultimately contributed to his untimely demise?  Does she know the lyrics to Brenda's Got A Baby and Keep Ya Head Up?  She couldn't possibly think these things after hearing songs like Dear Mama and So Many Tears.  Or perhaps she wasn't old enough to see him battle C. Delores Tucker for the right to exercise his freedom of speech.  Maybe she didn't hear his first posthumous album that so valiantly boasted powerful and meaningful tracks like Against All Odds, Hold Ya Head, Krazy and White Man'z World where Tupac proclaimed "this is the realest shit I ever wrote". 

How could she know that Tupac was actually a poet who wrote about topics concerning love, civil rights, the current political climate, sex, passion, and the fight for what's right?  Was she aware that he was raised by militant political activists known as the Black Panther Party and civil rights heroes like Mutulu Shakur, Geronimo Pratt, Mumia Abu Jamal and Assata Shakur, the same exhiled woman rapper Common was criticized for visiting in Cuba as they all were public enemies due to their political fight and activism?  Maybe she missed the bit of information that Shakur's hit song Dear Mama is one of 25 songs that was added to the Library of Congress' National Recording Registry in 2010 or that as of 2004, he was the highest selling rap/hip-hop artist selling over 67 million copies worldwide.

On the other hand, I'm sure she is aware of his multiple arrests, court cases, rape conviction, shooting incidents, misogynistic lyrics and other violent behavior he also displayed and endured.  And I'm also pretty sure she is aware of the "Thug Life" movement that he founded and represented on his body in the form of a tattoo, and in his music and interviews.  To know Tupac was to love him.  But to know him, you would have to know that he was a Gemini, with twin souls.  One soul represented the enormously talented, intelligent, eloquent, inspirational and motivational Tupac.  The other soul represented the angry, violent, unapologetic, immature and insecure Tupac.  When following his interviews and public persona, you never really knew which Tupac you were going to get, but the reality was that you loved them both and knew without one, you couldn't have the other.  This dichotomy that I speak of was ever present in the history of his music and personal life as it played out in the local and international media before my very own eyes.

Tupac had the work ethic of a James Brown mixed with a modern day Lil' Wayne.  In fact, Lil' Wayne can attribute his work ethic and multitude of recordings to Tupac's influence because as we all know, Tupac released 9 posthumous albums and still has material to spare.  I often wonder if my generation is doing its job in inspiring the new generation and educating them on the history of music like our parents did.  Our parents taught us about the oldies and introduced us to Rock, Blues, Soul, R&B and Jazz.  However, when it comes to the new generation, they seem to have a lack of information, exposure and inspiration when it comes to those who came before them and paved the way for their favorite artists to thrive today.  This is where my heart becomes heavy.  How could a young adult like my sister not understand the intricacy of his life?  How could she say he was too ghetto-minded and stagnant and not realize that his actual influence is too massive to even quantify?

Perhaps these words will educate and inspire the new generation.  To know, understand and love what Tupac stood for because he is a product of the same environment in which they now live.  To know that he fought for their freedom to rap and write about whatever they wanted.  That he fought for the institutionalized, marginalized and disenfranchised.  To know that he fought against adversity, poverty, ignorance and his own physical demise and used his music as a political and creative springboard to help the greater good.  To know that he loved his people and encouraged the baby mamas of the world to keep their heads up and the misguided young men in prison to hold their heads high.  To know that he is their favorite rapper's favorite rapper and that he has inspired this generation's artistry and creativity like no other rapper.  As I said earlier, to know him was to love him so I urge all those who shun Tupac or don't understand his relevance in the climate of hip hop today, to get to know him a little bit more before they judge, because Tupac made it very clear that ONLY GOD COULD JUDGE HIM!

RIP Soldier!

Since I am a lover of all things Tupac, I wanted to show a visual portrayal of his life and legacy...enjoy!
 

Some of my favorite and most profound Tupac Hip Hop Quoteables and quotes from various interviews:

“I'd rather die like a man, than live like a coward.  There's a ghetto up in heaven and its ours.  Black Power!"

"I wonder why we take from our women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think its time to kill for our women, time to to heal our women, be real to our women."

“Recollect your thoughts don't get caught up in the mix, cause the media is full of dirty tricks.”

“Of course I'm going to say "I'm a thug" that's because I came from the GUTTER and I'm still HERE!”

“Somebody help me, tell me where to go from here cause even Thugs cry, but do the Lord care?”

“To all the seeds that follow me protect your essence.  Born with less, but you still precious.”

“I am society’s child. This is how they made me and now I’m sayin’ what’s on my mind and they don’t want that. This is what you made me, America.”

“I feel like role models today are not meant to be put on a pedestal. But more like angels with broken wings.”

“If you  walked by a street and you saw a rose growing from concrete, even if it had messed up petals and it was a little to the side you would marvel at just seeing a rose grow through concrete. So why is it that when you see some ghetto kid grow out of the dirtiest circumstance and he can talk and he can sit across the room and make you cry, make you laugh, all you can talk about is my  dirty rose, my dirty stems and how I'm leaning crooked to the side, u can’t even see that I’ve come up from out of that.”

“Forgive but don’t forget, girl keep your head up. And when he tells you you ain’t nothing, don’t believe him. And if he can’t learn to love you, you should leave him.”

“Fear is stronger than love, remember that. Fear is stronger than love. All that love I gave didn’t mean nothing when it came to fear.”

“They got money for the war but can’t feed the poor.”

“I’m not sayin’ I’m gonna rule the world, or that I’m gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world.”

“I set goals, take control, drink out my own bottle. I make mistakes but learn from every one and when it’s said and done, I bet this brother be a better one. If I upset you, don’t stress. Never forget, that God isn’t finished with me yet.

And here are a few of my favorite Tupac videos:

"The Greatest Rapper of All Time Died on March 9th" - My Tribute to Notorious B.I.G.



If you know me and know how much I love Hip Hop, you know I LOVE Biggie aka Christopher Wallace (May 21, 1972 - March 9, 1997).  When I look back and realize its been 14 years since his death, I think of how he impacted the game and how it has changed since his passing.  Before Jay-Z was whispering "the city is mine", B.I.G. was already holding down the Brooklyn neighborhood of Bedford-Stuyvesant with his raw rhymes, unmatched delivery and ghetto fab flow.

B.I.G.'s music was lyrically cinematic.  When I listen to songs like "You're Nobody (Til Somebody Kills You)" and "Long Kiss Goodnight" (two of my favs by the way), I can see the plot play out in my head as if I was watching a movie.  Biggie had that gift of grabbing the listener and sucking them into his violent and edgy, yet eloquent stories. 

Ready To Die was considered a Hip Hop classic, but I believe Biggie's true prowess was most notably visible on his posthumous double disc, Life After Death.  This piece of work allowed you not only to see the "Ready to Die" Biggie with his who gives a what attitude, but it also allowed you to see Biggie; the father, the rapper, the lady's man, and the friend.  I don't know about you, but I liked to see him more in his totality than as a one dimensional character.

Gone, but never forgotten, his music and legacy still lives on.  Jay-Z may have made The Blueprint, but Biggie was definitely the architect behind the scenes.  In terms of delivery, lyrical word play, double entendres, swag and subject matter, nobody did it better (during his reign at the top).  Rappers are still biting his style and using his lines as springboards for their rhymes.  Whether he gets the credit or not, his work will undoubtedly be weaved into the historical fabric of Hip Hop.

Whether his music touched you when he was Ready to Die, or his sounds moved you in his Life After Death, he will always be loved and respected for what he did in his short time here on earth, and hopefully, his music will be Born Again.

Some of Biggie's most quoted Hip Hop Lines:
"Ladies, my Mercedes, hold for in the back, two if ya fat"
"Kick in the door waving the 44"
"B-I-G P-O-P-P-A. No info for the D-E-A"
"Number Four.  I know you heard this before.  Never get high on your own supply"
"Goin back to Cali strictly for the weather, women and the weed"
"You're mad cause my style you're admiring.  Don't be mad...UPS is hiring"

Check out some of his best videos here:
Notorious B.I.G. - Juicy
Notorious B.I.G. - Big Poppa
Notorious B.I.G. - Mo Money Mo Problems
Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotize

What are your favorite Biggie rap lines and songs?