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February 26, 2011

I'm Not Your Mama, I'm Your Girl, You're Not My Daddy, You're My Man

I recently heard a new track by Kelly Price feat. Stokely (lead singer of Mint Condition) entitled Not My Daddy.  The lyrics of this song made me think about how urban male youth call women "mama" and insist that their girlfriends call them "daddy".  This concept has always been weird to me.  Personally, I believe you have one father and one mother who birthed you.  Those titles should be reserved for your parents, not your lover.  The fact that men call their women "mama" somehow is reminiscent of the Freudian Oedipus complex.  You know the complex that says every man wants to murder their father and marry their mother and vice versa for females.

Are we that screwed up that we want our boyfriends to be the fathers we never had?  Did our mothers fail us to the point that girlfriends need to take on the mother roll and cater to their men like "baby boys".  I think this occurrence really needs to stop and people need to start seeing their significant others as peers, not parents.  Someone you can grow with, play with, laugh with.  Not someone who will nurture you like a child and scold you when you've done wrong.  These twisted roles have created warped roles in our relationships today.

Romantic relationships should not fall under the guise of maternal relationships.  I can't tell you how many times I see women driving their men around town, paying for their meals and clothing, like a mother would her young son.  Or older gentlemen telling their girlfriends what to wear, when to come home and who they can talk to as if they were a protective father.

The madness must stop now.  I urge everyone to shed these maternal terms of endearment and claim their appropriate roles in their romantic relationships.  You are a significant other, not his Mama or her Daddy. 

Kelly Price and Stokely break it down ever so melodically.  These two are definitely two of my favorite R&B vocalists and this duet is a match made in heaven.  Check out the song on youtube below and share your thoughts:


  1. i don't think its wrong for a woman to treat her man to a meal or the gift of clothing on occasion, thats give and take of a relationship but when its regular occurance thats when we have a situation...Keep up the great writing

  2. @Ronny...I don't think there is anything wrong with treating your significant other to material items or dinner dates, etc. However, with everything, there must be balance. If one individual is carrying more of the load it can be a problem. That is my only pet peeve.


  3. ahhhhh "silky" !!!! youve grown up!!! i feel you, i dont want to control my woman on any level. weak women arent attractive

  4. Ive only recently heard the song and I totally agree with your post which was both well written and clear. It 's human nature to take on terms that embrace a trait or traits that we love or long for. Indeed, it may even be natural to apply certain maternal or paternal instincts to the ones we love. However,there must be balance and sometimes we can forget that.

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