A Tribute To My Mother

I know I am a day late, but I definitely wanted to honor my mother for all that she has done.  My mother, Lizzetta Lebeau Douglas, has always been an inspiration to me.  As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be just like her.  She was the most beautiful woman in the world to me and also the smartest.  I could always catch her smiling, laughing, dancing and singing.  Always vibrant and on point. Always striving to be a better person.

There are so many positive things about my personality and the person I am that I can contribute to her.  As I often say, "I get it from my mama." My class, style, confidence, big heart and passionate persona has so much to do with her and the person she raised me to be.  There are so many things that my mother taught me throughout my 32 years on this earth and it would only be right for me to reiterate a few pivotal points, just to let her know I was listening. *smile*

She always taught me to do the best in everything I did and to finish what I started.  She taught me humility, the importance of speaking your mind, yet always respecting elders and people of authority.  School was always a priority and ever since I could remember, I knew my destiny was college.  In fact, living in Mrs. Douglas' household, you really didn't have a choice on whether you were going to college.  The plans had already been drawn up for you.  She taught me how to cook, clean, and take care of myself and she always stressed the importance of good hygiene and looking my best each and every day.

Throughout the years I've learned that its not only what you "teach" your children, but the example that you set for them through your actions that often determines which way they will go in life.  Along with my mother's strong faith and spirituality, she not only talked the talk, but walked the walk.  My mother always strived for personal achievement in her career as she was never satisfied with the status quo.  Every position she took she worked long, hard hours, did the necessary studying and whatever else was required to move up.  She taught me how to conduct myself on interviews, how to study and take tests and how to dress for success.  She taught me that it is never too late to live out your dreams as she went back to school to complete her undergraduate degree years after dropping out of UCLA before we were born.

Family and friends were always a big part of our lives.  We grew up with so many uncles, aunts, cousins, friends of the family, etc., that there was never a lack of love in the home, nor a lack of excitement. I would watch my mother in awe as she would play hostess to her many guests.  My mother's magnetic personality drew lots of characters to our house, many of whom I have learned so much from and have impacted my life in a profound way.  If anything, my party girl spirit definitely comes from her.  She could whip up the food and the drinks, play the music and lure everyone to the dance floor so effortlessly.  I just remembered being a little girl and wanting to be like her in so many ways.

I am just so thankful that the Lord blessed me with a mother like mine.  She was always loving and forgiving and one of the most giving people I know.  She would literally give you the shirt off her back, although she may have 30 more at home, its always the thought that counts {lol}.  I just hope she knows how much she's inspired me and how grateful I am to have her in my life.  She also did much of the things I speak of, on her own with little to no help. I love her dearly and nothing can ever come between a mother and her daughter and nothing ever will.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
Did you spend Mother's Day with your mother?
Do you  routinely thank your mother for everything she's done for you?
If you are a mother yourself, what do you most want your children to learn before they reach adulthood?

The Value Series by Pat Parker: Knowing Your Worth

My great friend Kenya Kirkland of Something Old, Something New Boutique in Los Angeles, as well as, the head of the Sugar Scout Couture design house, hosted a motivational series at Jessica Matlock's ByBy Studio on La Cienega.  The series featured motivational speaker, Pat Parker, and her cues for determining, developing and exercising your worth.  The series is geared towards women, who are too often met with individuals who are constantly trying to diminish their value.  Pat even explained in the beginning of her talk that people will always try to lessen your value to get more bang for their buck in any situation.  Therefore, it is up to the individual to know their value and what they bring to the table and never settle for less.

The energy in the room was dynamic and progressive.  The lowly lit studio lights were dim and votive candles played the background as Ms. Parker stepped to the front of the group at center stage.  Attendees sipped on champagne and snacked on refreshments, as the group ranged from business owners, fashion designers, writers, stylists, makeup artists, and bloggers like me.  Overall, everyone was there to hear the words that we all believed would lead to a higher state of consciousness for ourselves and our journey.

Pat started off her talk by explaining that she was once a very successeful head hunter for many of the top grossing corporations today, which afforded her a very affluent lifestyle.  However, with the demise of the economy, she soon saw herself without a job or livelihood.  After she lost her job and her savings was later depleted, she realized that she no longer knew who she was or where her value lied.  All those years acquiring materials things, climbing the corporate ladder and meeting people in high places left her with nothing of substantial value when it was all said and done.

Pat Parker then realized she had hit rock bottom, or a "plateau" as she calls it, yet was determined to live her life in her true value, that which could never be stripped from her like her fancy car and clothes from before.  Pat focused on many things throughout the lecture, highlighting key influences in determining ones personal wealth.  Statements that really stuck out to me were:

"What you survive, you will teach."
"What image have you become invested in?"
"True value is what you know for sure."
"What’s in your way? What is standing in between you and the vision of your life?"
"You need a breakthrough!"
"If you’re not in the position to reach back and help someone, that means you’re in “survival mode” and you need to reposition yourself."
"There is value in your struggles."
"Motivation + Action = Change"

The overall understanding I garnered from the series is that you must determine your own true value, for you and walk, eat and live in that value and never take less than what you are worth, no matter what the circumstances are.  Also, there is nothing standing in your way, but you, so in order to create dynamic change in your life you must reevaluate all of your personal issues and BREAKTHROUGH from struggling and surviving in order to thrive.

Pat Parker also focused on living a purpose-filled life, which lends to your true value and fulfillment.  The combination of your past struggles, failures and successes has created a unique YOU. A being that no one can be or duplicate. A being that can lend and contribute to help those enduring the same circumstances that once held you captive to your true value and purpose.  It is only through helping others, through this very purpose, do you discover your true value and become a force of help and strength instead of a force of negativity or strife.  Yet through these experiences, we learn our true purpose as children of the higher being who has blessed us with these unique gifts and experiences that make us who we are.

At the end of the segment, we all wrote down our career goals, with our names and put them in a fish bowl.  This exercise was focused on networking and supporting each other in our goals.  We were all instructed to speak to that person's goal by referring them to someone that could help them or push their dreams to the next step.

Kenya concluded the series by saying something that really touched my heart and made me truly realize what a valuable friend she was.  She said "I know where I'm going and I want all of you to be there with me".  The realization that I have some pretty cool friends with a valuable network really and truly made my weekend and I am forever greatful that she thought to include me in the series.  I look forward to the next series that she is cooking up in getting closer to KNOWING my true value.

KNOW YOUR VALUE!!!!

Share your thoughts
Do you really know your true value?
Have others tried to devalue you, in order to get something from you?
Have you hit a "plateau"?
Are you fulfilled in your current position in life?
Are you struggling and surviving or thriving?
Do you need a breakthrough?
Were any of the words above helpful in your journey to discovering your true value?
Would you like to be invited to the next series?

Definition of Success - Inspirational Quotes

I love inspirational quotes and encouraging and motivating words that help keep you on track with life's ups and downs.  Nowadays everyone has a favorite quote or mantra to live by.  One that speaks so profoundly to your spirit that you cannot deny its truth.  For me, that quote is:

"The definition of success--To laugh much; to win respect of intelligent persons and the affections of children; to earn the approbation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give one's self; to leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition.; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm, and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived--this is to have succeeded."

Although it is still questionable who actually should be credited for this quote, it has stood the test of time and still speaks volumes to this day.  This quote speaks to me in so many ways.  It gives a totally different perspective of what some or most might define as "Success".  Not cars, clothes, a house in the hills or on the beach, vacations, etc.  But real achievable goals like happiness, laughter, respect, endurance.  Once I read this quote it changed my perspective on success and how I would then define success for myself thereafter.

Another one of my favorite quotes of all time came to me at a somewhat low point in my life.  I had just moved out of the 3-bedroom house that I shared with my twin sister and good friend from high school.  After which, I had to move in with my grandmother who lives next door to my mother.  To say I was mortified by having to move back home would be an understatement.  But one day, as I was in the bedroom that use to house all of my grandmother's nicknack's, I saw a clipping from a Los Angeles Times article that read:

"People are like stained-glass windows.  They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

This was just what I needed to hear at the time and I was determined to have my light shine from within, even when darkness had set in.  Another quote that changed my life and helped me at a pivotal point in my life.

I know my readers have some thought provoking and game changing quotes that have inspired them along the way.  I would love for you all to share the quotes that changed your life or gave you a new perspective on life, love, happiness and success, in the hopes that it might inspire someone else.

PLEASE SHARE!

Kelly Rowland Watch

You guys know from previous posts that I am a big Kelly Rowland fan.  I've always followed her career, but I'm even more interested lately with her new found success.  I posted the video to Motivation, her first single off the Here I Am album, which is slated to be in stores on July 26th.  I was thinking that she needs something really good to follow up the #1 Billboard hit she achieved with Motivation.

Her next single features G.O.O.D. Music artist Big Sean and its called Lay It On Me.  The video has yet to be released, but the track is ready, so take a listen below and let me know if it moves you or if she needs to go back to the drawing board.

ENJOY!

They Say Your Attitude Determines Your Latitude: A Personal Letter To Myself

There is a plethora of knowledge readily available in the world when it comes to success and achieveing your goals.  There are also tons of self help books that claim to be the secret to life, peace and happiness.  So why with the ease of access to this knowledge in the world do we often find ourselves still constantly searching for the answers or trying to make things happen in our lives?  Everyone must answer that question for themselves and I am a firm believer in doing what YOU love and what makes you happy.  In this life we are given but one chance to make our mark in the hopes that our energy and efforts live on for generations to come.  That is why it is of utmost importance for one to search for and determine what makes them happy and at peace.  What drives you and what are you passionate about?

As children we dream big and have lofty goals and ideas about how we will live our lives in our adulthood.  Often times, our peers', parents', teachers', and family's vision for us can overshadow our vision for ourselves.  Even still the world in general can beat us down to the point where we struggle to find our rightful place in this Universe.  We've all had ideas and dreams and some way or another, failure, disappointment and fear replaced our passion, drive and ambition and they morphed into dreams deferred, never to be realized.  I sometimes wonder if there is more to life than what we accept or percieve to be reality and the more I read, grow and learn, the more I realize that YOU are the determining factor in your success and happiness.  Not only do you have the power to decide your mood, the people you surround yourself with, the opportunities that are afforded to you and the lifestyle you want to live, but YOU also have the power to answer your own prayers because the power lies within.

Some people take a backseat approach to life, always sitting on the sideline watching others pursue and achieve their dreams.  All the while, self esteem plummets, dispair starts to set in and you wake up 15-20 years later wondering what happened to your so-called life.  I don't know about you, but I dont want to be that person.  I don't want to wake up at the age of 50 wondering what if or what could've been.  I want to look back in my old age and be proud of the things I accomplished and overcame.  I don't want to sit with a life of regrets and finally come to the ultimate realization that life overcame me.

So now that we know what we do and don't want, what's next?  Simply, to get out of our own way!  Let go of fears, doubts, discouragement and disappointment and live in the moment, claim your personal power and DECLARE success, health, peace, happiness and love.  Remember, it is always important to define what these characteristics will look like in YOUR life, not others.  Only then can we truly claim our power and positively effect our destiny.  So I say drop the fear and doubt.  Stop telling yourself why you can't do something and just DECIDE to do it.  DECIDE that you are worth it and believe that you are worthy of the accomplishment.  Besides, if not you, then who?

Ultimately, motivation can come through meditation so take time alone to think deep and hard about what drives you and what you want your life to be like.  Spend your time working towards your goals whether it be baby steps or giant strides.  Share your goals/dreams with the world, but don't let other people's negative perceptions cloud your vision.  Surround yourself with like-minded individuals and leave the negative and discouraging thoughts and people behind you and JUST DO IT!  Besides, what other choice do you have?

I would like to know from my readers:

Has failure or disappointment ever deterred you from your dreams/goals?
What is holding you back from making the right moves in your life?
Did someone tell you that you couldn't or shouldn't do something that you feel/felt passionate about?
What are you waiting for to get out of your own way?
Have you overcome fear in your life to ultimately reach your goals?

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS...and STAY ENCOURAGED!