BornTooBlog Readers

April 20, 2011

Who's Ready For A Little S&M?!?!?

Rihanna has a song on the Loud album called "S&M".  For those who don't know what S&M stands for, it means Sadism and Masochism.  Sadism means you derive pleasure from inflicting pain or watching pain inflicted on others.  Masochism means you get pleasure from receiveing pain or being humiliated.  Now don't get your panties in a bunch just yet.  These sexual acts aren't as weird or as degrading as you might think...depending on how far you might want to take things.  However, this kind of sexual activity is not for the faint of heart.

Rihanna's song and video S&M touches on this sexual phenomenon that I am sure we have all been exposed to one way or another in our lifetime.  My fav lines go like this:

Feels so good being bad
There's no way I'm turning back
Now the pain is my pleasure cause nothing could measure
Love is great, love is fine
Out the box, outta line
The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more

Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me

Stills From Rihanna's S&M Video

Sounds fun, right?  Now before you shun the whole idea and proclaim that you will never get down in this matter, ask your partner if they've ever had a fantasy of tying you up, spanking you, or would they get some sort of pleasure if you did this to them?  If you're a chick and you asked your macho guy, I'm assuming he said no.  If you really have your heart set on it don't give up just yet because there might still be hope. 

With all alternative fun ways of having sex (toys, role playing, etc.) there has to be some buy-in from your partner before you start whipping out the whips and chains and bells and whistles.  Be sure to slowly orient them to the idea and ease them into any toys or sexual games that you want to incorporate in the bedroom or out :-).  You might scare them away if you bring out your bag of goodies and don't prep them for it.  Tips for successfully ushering your lover into your S&M kick go as follows:

1. Make sure they are relaxed and are open to new things.
2. Try using toys that you can incorporate on you both.
3. Sometimes trying it out on yourself in front of them might make them less weary.
4. Express that this is your fantasy and you want him/her to be a part of it.
5. Make sure you know what you're doing.  You don't want to scar them for life by using a toy in the wrong way.

Okay my lovelies....I'm dying to know.  Are you into S&M?  Are you thinking about trying it with your mate? Have you done it before?  Have you tried it before and realized it wasn't for you?  Would you be open to experimentation?  Spill the beans...anonymously...of course (*wink*)

Here is Rihanna's S&M vid for good measure (which I absolutely love):


April 12, 2011

The Age Of The Tattoo

My first and only tattoo experience consited of my father taking me to Tay's Playa (oh the horror) on Crenshaw and Vernon in Los Angeles when I was 15 years old to get tatted.  After months of begging my parents and eventually breaking them down, I couldnt believe that they were actually going to allow me to get body art.  I thought long and hard about what permanent marking I was going to get, where it would be placed and how bad it was going to hurt.  I eventually settled on the yin/yang symbol that originates from a Chinese scientific and spiritual philosophy known as Taoism (See Yin Yang - Taoism).  I was excited and nervous at the same time but the pain and nervousness was well worth it.  I couldn't wait to show it off.  Fast forward 15 years and I am still as in love with my tattoo as I was when I first received it.  It has actually guided me on a spiritual journey that began as soon as I found out the true meaning of the symbol and started to apply the principles to my life in general.

We've all seen countless tattoos since back in 1995 that range from beautiful and artistic to ratchet and just plain ghetto.  It was a pretty big thing back in the 90s to get a tattoo, especially if you were in high school.  Now I look at kids in high school and tattoos are almost like a right of passage.  You would be hard pressed these days to go to a high school and find a student without tattoos (I could be over exaggerating, but you get my point).

The latter part of the evolution of the tattoo came with the sleeve, where ink addicts started not only getting tattoos that covered up a few inches of their bodies, but now, kids are getting their entire arms, and backs tattooed (I blame 50 Cent) as well as their legs, chests, neck, and even their faces inked.  Even reality TV has gotten in on the fun by featuring shows in tattoo parlors and showing the drama that ensues in popular tattoo shops in Los Angeles and Miami.

Back in the day, lol, parents would tell you not to get tattoos because of the negative connotations people make when they see them inside and outside the workplace.  However, now, I wonder if the same connotations still exist.  Do people judge you based on your ink?  Have you or anyone you know ever been denied a job because your tattoos were exposed?  I know as they become much more prominent, the rules seem to be more lenient.

I am in no way too old-fashioned or washed up so let me say that I have seem some wonderful tattoo art that I actually adore.  My girl Britanie Girard who is a model and piercing artist in New York and Los Angeles exemplifies true body art and expression.  All of her "pieces" have meaning and she has spent years covering her entire body.  You have no idea how beautiful her art is until you see her up close and personal, but I have some pictures you can view to get an idea:

Absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!!

I also have a good friend, Isiah, in Philly, who incorporates some of his own creative art on his body.  His art is also a work in progress. Check it out: I have tattoo envy :-) Feel free to share some of your tattoo stories and experiences and I'm dying to know what doors your tattoos have open or closed.

April 7, 2011

Power Couples I Love

Although it seems celebrity marriages last just about as long as it takes for my Trader Joe's frozen dinner to cook in the microwave (lol), there are some really HOT couples that are making it work and dare I say this....last, in Hollywood's tumultuous love affair with celebrity hookups, scandals and exposés.  I can't seem to turn on the tube these days without hearing stories about which celebs are separating, divorcing, or going on radio talk shows to air their dirty laundry for publicity and money.

I give my hat off to any celebrity couple that would decide to initiate their romance in this toxic pool of sex, lies and videotape and often wonder...what is their secret for keeping things fresh, exciting and....together?  Not only are celebs like Will and Jada, Beyonce and Jay, Alicia and Swizz, etc. making their love lives work in the industry, but they are making their money and endorsements work for them also.

I wanted to pay homage to these powerful couples that are making a difference globally and locally for their families and communities.  Check out my fav fly couples below:

The Barack's

Jay-Z and Beyonce

Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys
David and Victoria Beckham

Seal and Heidi Klum

Nick and Mariah

Djimon and Kimora
   Who are your favorite power couples?

April 4, 2011

Is Hip Hop Ready For Homosexuality?!?!!

I was reading on this morning about how a popular DJ in NYC, DJ Mister Cee (whom I've had the pleasure of jamming to one of his spin sessions in Brooklyn, NY), was arrested for indecent exposure and lewd conduct with a Tranny (transexual).  It turns out he was receiving a BJ in public and was caught by the authorities MTO - Popular NYC DJ Mister Cee Arrested For Indecent Acts With Tranny.  Hip Hop has long been known for its homophobic lyrics.  Homophobic references can be found in countless songs and is commonly used to discredit another rapper's manhood whether he is homosexual or not.  Kanye West seems to be the only popular rapper that has stood up for gay Hip Hop lovers and urged rappers to stop making homophobic slurs and references in their rhymes TV One: Kanye Speaks Out On Homophobia.  We've all heard the rumors that have been swirling for more than a decade about how some top Hip Hop artists, managers, CEOs are actually gay and in the closet. 

Marsha Ambrosius (formerly of Floetry) recently released a video for her single Far Away off her Late Nights And Early Mornings album which has not been well received in the African American community, at least where the fellas are concerned.  The video portrays two urban male lovers and reveals the trials and tribulations that they must endure to share their love for one another in today's times.  The video ends with the two men receiving a brutal beat down for showing their affection in a neighborhood park.  I have spoken to several African American men who are very displeased with the video and have consequently wrote her and her music off. 

Now...on to my burning questions.  Is Hip Hop ready for an openly gay rapper?  Do you think a gay rapper would be accepted in the Hip Hop world?  Do you think the Hip Hop community should address this in an open forum and come to a consensus on the use of homophobic slurs in songs like how the use of the word "nigga" has been highlighted and discussed?

I would love to hear your thoughts....WEIGH IN!

Watch the video here: