Evelyn Lozada Breaks Her Silence on Iyanla Vanzant's "Fix My Life"

Oprah has faced some hardships since she shut down the Oprah Winfrey Talk Show and started her own network called OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) on cable TV, but she is slowly starting to build up steam for the relatively new network with exclusive interviews with the likes of Rihanna, Usher, Jennifer Hudson and more.  Her new show featuring life coach guru Iyanla Vanzant has also made major waves featuring the exclusive interview with Evelyn Lozada, Basketball Wives Miami reality star and estranged wife of Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson via Vanzant's show on OWN called "Fix My Life".

The irony of it all is that Lozada initially agreed to appear on the show to "fix her life" prior to her domestic violence incident with her husband, in an effort to shun her bad girl image that she not only gets paid to portray on Basketball Wives, but has garnered a book deal and hefty appearance fees for the reality star.  After receiving backlash from the public and well known celebrities like Star Jones, Lozada finally realized that she did not want to be seen as the angry Latina woman that had originally created her stardom and celebrity, citing that her "ah ha" moment was when her step daughters mocked and idolized her violent actions on Basketball Wives.  Lozada was determined to turn a corner and show the true her, get past her fears, pain and regret, and move forward to a healthier and more peaceful life.

In the first episode of the show, Iyanla delved deep into Evelyn's childhood and got to the core of her pain, rage and anger that often is seen played out on TV for all to see.  Iyanla wanted to help her find her inner child that was still hurting from being rejected by her father.  Iyanla was surprised to see that her husband, Chad Johnson, was not present for the interview although he had committed to being there.  This was a red flag for Iyanla and she quickly proclaimed that in regards to her marriage, that Lozada was, "in trouble".  With Vanzant somehow foreseeing the future, she later heard the news with the rest of the world that Evelyn and Chad had been involved in a domestic dispute which allegedly involved Evelyn being headbutted by Chad, requiring Evelyn to get stitches in her forehead.

After the alleged headbutting incident, Evelyn has since filed for divorce and says she has not spoken to Chad.  The second part of the segment was recorded after the incident and Iyanla had somewhat of a "I told you so" vibe, while letting Evelyn once again, dig deep into her inner self to determine how she got to this point.  I was so proud of Evelyn for her courage to want to change and her honesty throughout the process.  Evelyn showed her vulnerability as she constantly shed tears while consistently confronting her past, present and future.

Seeing Lozada in this light really changed my views on her and I have never seen her look more beautiful and endearing.  Lozada and Vanzant ultimately determined that her anger and rage stemmed from her abandonment as a child by her father and her dealings with men (promiscuity, low self esteem and teenage pregnancy) were also bi-products of this still open wound.  Vanzant urged Lozada to discover who she truly was without the high profile marriage, hit reality show and closet full of Louboutins and the exchange was incredibly moving and inspiring.

I wish Evelyn Lozada the best on her journey to set an example for young girls, as the truly strong and beautiful woman that she is and hope that she finds her true calling, as she acknowledged that, "its not to act a fool on TV".  To say that this show made me look into myself for similar answers to the ills that plague me would be an understatement.  The show is definitely something I'll watch in the future as I believe I can learn and grow from the courageous stories of others.

Here is some video footage of the exchange between Lozada and Vanzant on "Fix My Life":

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
Did you watch the two part segment of Lozada on Iyanla Vanzant's "Fix My Life"?
Do you now have a different perception of Evelyn Lozada, the "bad girl" on Basketball Wives?
Do you have "daddy issues" stemming from abandonment as a child?
Have you ever been a victim of domestic abuse?
Does her courage and honesty inspire you to tackle some heavy issues in your own life?

How To Rise Up In The Company

I'm always weary of giving advice for something I'm not quite qualified to give, but I definitely wanted to share some helpful tips on how to move up in your current position with your company or organization, as I've had mucho success with these few tactics put into action.  As I said in a previous post about my mother, she taught me life skills like essay writing, interview tips, how to dress for success and how to move up in your company or current position.  If there is anyone who can show you the ropes of how to move up quickly in a company, its her and I would like to share some of her many tips for success, along with a few I've picked up along the way, with you all, my BornTooBlog readers.

First things first, you MUST dress for success.  Always be mindful of the dress code and culture of your company, but dress UP, not down.  Just because your peers rock t-shirts and chucks does not mean you can't wear a dress shirt with khakis or slacks.  Yes, you might get teased or ridiculed for dressing better than your peers, but believe me when I say, the higher ups will take notice.  I'm sure we've all heard that saying, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."

Secondly, when you first begin your position, you must realize that the word "No" shouldn't be in your vocabulary for at least 6 months to a year or more.  Remember, this is your time to prove yourself.  Everyone is watching you and seeing if you will sink or swim, so never turn down a task because it is out of your purview or job description.  Managers love employees that are dependable and will accomplish a task that no one wanted, with a smile.  Look at it this way, if you are able to complete tasks that are above and beyond your call of duty, your boss will be even more inclined to give you tasks and responsibilities that are more and more distinguished, which can transition into a promotion.  Also, being a "complainer" is a no no.  No one wants to deal with a whistle blower so choose your battles wisely.

Never go the caddy route and talk or gossip with your peers.  Believe me, the higher ups know who are the troublemakers and who is spreading rumors or gossip.  These people are the last ones to get promoted.  Its always cool to have friends throughout the organization, as it can benefit you in many ways, but don't get labeled as a troublemaker just because you hang with one.  Be mindful of who you spend your time with and never vent to your peers about your boss or any other people in positions of power because it can and will come back to bite you.

Respect the chain of command at all times.  Going over someone's head to the wrong person in regards to a sticky issue can be career suicide.  Always be mindful of the proper channels to resolve issues, accomplish tasks and what to communicate to whom.  Confidentiality is of utmost importance in many organizations.  If your boss sees that you can keep a secret, he/she will likely tell you more and more secrets, which ultimately will increase your worth in the company.

Make yourself as indispensable as possible.  The more tasks you take on that nobody wants, the more you increase your job security.  If you are the only one with the code to an account or the only one who knows how to perform a certain task, your odds of getting canned lessen significantly.

Getting involved with the company outside of work can do wonders for relations between you and high-level managers.  If the CEO loves to play tennis or the company has a softball team and the top manager just so happens to be the coach or team captain, get involved and forge those relationships outside of work.  This type of initiative can help tremendously when you are up for a certain position against another colleague that might not have forged the same relationships that you have.  If push comes to shove, they will think of the person they are closest to, get along with, or share the same goals/mission for the company.

All of the aforementioned techniques are very important, but nothing screams "I want to move up in this company" more than being in the know about what positions are coming up for hire or restructuring and applying for those positions that you know you will be a great fit for.  If you want to move up, you have to be serious about where you want to go and how you want to get there.  If you know you would be good for a certain position, do your research about the requirements for that position and what skills, degrees or certifications are necessary to even be considered.

Being a self-advocate can be one of your greatest strengths.  Whenever necessary, let those in positions of power know what skills you have outside of your current position.  If you mentioned in passing that you have a background in marketing, managers will keep this in mind and pull you in when they need your expertise.  When this moment comes, it is truly your time to shine.

Applying these tactics are almost sure to lead you to upward mobility, but remember, your skills and what you bring to the table must be more valuable than the position you are currently in, in order to move up.  It takes time, dedication and steadfastness and also a company that encourages promoting from within.  Building and harnessing relationships with key individuals and managers is priceless on your quest to moving up the ladder.  Stay confident while consistently increasing your personal and professional worth.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
Were any of the tips helpful to you?
Have you had experience with some of the techniques mentioned above? Did these tactics hurt or help you in your quest to move up in your company?
What advice would you add to the tips above?