BornTooBlog Readers

September 19, 2012

Evelyn Lozada Breaks Her Silence on Iyanla Vanzant's "Fix My Life"

Oprah has faced some hardships since she shut down the Oprah Winfrey Talk Show and started her own network called OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) on cable TV, but she is slowly starting to build up steam for the relatively new network with exclusive interviews with the likes of Rihanna, Usher, Jennifer Hudson and more.  Her new show featuring life coach guru Iyanla Vanzant has also made major waves featuring the exclusive interview with Evelyn Lozada, Basketball Wives Miami reality star and estranged wife of Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson via Vanzant's show on OWN called "Fix My Life".

The irony of it all is that Lozada initially agreed to appear on the show to "fix her life" prior to her domestic violence incident with her husband, in an effort to shun her bad girl image that she not only gets paid to portray on Basketball Wives, but has garnered a book deal and hefty appearance fees for the reality star.  After receiving backlash from the public and well known celebrities like Star Jones, Lozada finally realized that she did not want to be seen as the angry Latina woman that had originally created her stardom and celebrity, citing that her "ah ha" moment was when her step daughters mocked and idolized her violent actions on Basketball Wives.  Lozada was determined to turn a corner and show the true her, get past her fears, pain and regret, and move forward to a healthier and more peaceful life.

In the first episode of the show, Iyanla delved deep into Evelyn's childhood and got to the core of her pain, rage and anger that often is seen played out on TV for all to see.  Iyanla wanted to help her find her inner child that was still hurting from being rejected by her father.  Iyanla was surprised to see that her husband, Chad Johnson, was not present for the interview although he had committed to being there.  This was a red flag for Iyanla and she quickly proclaimed that in regards to her marriage, that Lozada was, "in trouble".  With Vanzant somehow foreseeing the future, she later heard the news with the rest of the world that Evelyn and Chad had been involved in a domestic dispute which allegedly involved Evelyn being headbutted by Chad, requiring Evelyn to get stitches in her forehead.

After the alleged headbutting incident, Evelyn has since filed for divorce and says she has not spoken to Chad.  The second part of the segment was recorded after the incident and Iyanla had somewhat of a "I told you so" vibe, while letting Evelyn once again, dig deep into her inner self to determine how she got to this point.  I was so proud of Evelyn for her courage to want to change and her honesty throughout the process.  Evelyn showed her vulnerability as she constantly shed tears while consistently confronting her past, present and future.

Seeing Lozada in this light really changed my views on her and I have never seen her look more beautiful and endearing.  Lozada and Vanzant ultimately determined that her anger and rage stemmed from her abandonment as a child by her father and her dealings with men (promiscuity, low self esteem and teenage pregnancy) were also bi-products of this still open wound.  Vanzant urged Lozada to discover who she truly was without the high profile marriage, hit reality show and closet full of Louboutins and the exchange was incredibly moving and inspiring.

I wish Evelyn Lozada the best on her journey to set an example for young girls, as the truly strong and beautiful woman that she is and hope that she finds her true calling, as she acknowledged that, "its not to act a fool on TV".  To say that this show made me look into myself for similar answers to the ills that plague me would be an understatement.  The show is definitely something I'll watch in the future as I believe I can learn and grow from the courageous stories of others.

Here is some video footage of the exchange between Lozada and Vanzant on "Fix My Life":

Did you watch the two part segment of Lozada on Iyanla Vanzant's "Fix My Life"?
Do you now have a different perception of Evelyn Lozada, the "bad girl" on Basketball Wives?
Do you have "daddy issues" stemming from abandonment as a child?
Have you ever been a victim of domestic abuse?
Does her courage and honesty inspire you to tackle some heavy issues in your own life?

September 11, 2012

Who Is Luke James?

I know I'm a little on the late freight with featuring this R&B newcomer, but I'm pretty sure many of you have not heard of him or maybe, you heard his music and didn't know his name, nor his face.  Well, the wait is over!  I was blown away by this guy when he performed on "Verses & Flow," a new show on TVOne that features talented spoken word artists a la Def Poetry Jam.  James, originally from New Orleans, tore down the stage with his strong, yet silky smooth vocals and dynamic energy.  Little did I know that he was responsible for one of my favorite R&B songs on the radio right now, "I Want You," where he declares his love for his dream girl.

Below is a video of "I Want You":

Here is a video of James' performance on "Verses & Flow":

In "Guilty Pleasure," James sings about a love that is so wrong, yet so right and I love the energy he brought to the stage.  Luke James' pre-release album, "#Luke," will be released on Def Jam.  Besides his musical dealings, he has been featured as the leading man in several videos, such as, Melanie Fiona's, "4 A.M.," Beyonce's, "Run The World," and has penned songs for the likes of Britney Spears, Justin Bieber, Chris Brown and more.  I'm excited to see what this vibrant newcomer will bring to the R&B scene.

Here are a few more pictures of Mr. James:

You can find him on Twitter @WhoIsLukeJames
Luke James' Official Website:

What do you think of Luke James?
Have you ever heard of him?
Would you buy his album?
Would you like to see more from this new talent?

September 6, 2012

Video Spotlight: Lupe Fiasco - Bitch Bad

My BornTooBlog readers know I've spoken on this occurrence of the confusion between a man wanting a "bad bitch", but also wanting her to possess the qualities of a "good girl".  In my previous post, Men Say They Want A Good Woman, But Chase Bad Girls, I explained my confusion with men who think they can have both and laid out some general definitions of what these perceptions really mean.  Now lyricist/activist Lupe Fiasco has put it in a song called, "Bitch Bad". 

Lupe speaks on this reoccurring contradiction in Hip Hop music as he raps:

Now imagine there's a shawty, maybe five maybe four
Ridin' 'round with his mama listening to the radio
And a song comes on and not far off from being born
Doesn't know the difference between right and wrong
Now I ain't trying to make it too complex
But let's just say shawty has an undeveloped context
About the perception of women these days
His mama sings along and this what she says
"nigga I'm a bad bitch, and I'm bad bitch
Far above average"

First he's relatin' the word "bitch" with his mama, comma
And because she's relatin' to herself
his most important source of help
and mental health, he may skew respect for dishonor

Sure enough, in this little world
The little boy meets one of those little girls
And he thinks she a bad bitch and she thinks she a bad bitch
He thinks disrespectfully, she thinks of that sexually
She got the wrong idea, he don't wanna fuck her
He thinks she's bad at being a bitch like his mother
Just like that, you see the fruit of the confusion
He caught in a reality, she caught in an illusion
Bad mean good to her, she really nice and smart
But bad mean bad to him, bitch don't play your part
But bitch still bad to her if you say it the wrong way
But she think she a bitch, what a double entendre
Check out the video:

I'm glad Lupe has spoken up on this underlying contradiction that has become so popular in rap music these days.  He's received a lot of flack for the song, as well as, his anti-Obama views, but I am still a big fan of this young and talented artist and I'm glad he's sharing his perspective on the subject and various other subjects.

What did you think about the video?
Do you agree with what Lupe Fiasco is saying?
Do you feel its a contradiction for a man to want a "bad bitch" but also want a "good woman"?
What are your thoughts on the song and lyrics?