BornTooBlog Readers

May 18, 2011

Toya Carter's A Family Affair

I watched the ever so highly regarded BET Network as Toya Carter's (Lil Wayne's ex-wife) version of Keyshia Cole's reality show projected on the tube.  What I saw was a far cry from the commonly seen strictly negative stereotypical ghetto portrayal of the trials and tribulations of another struggling and broken black family.  Toya's show mirrors that of Keyshia Cole's formerly successful show "Just Like You" where she featured the struggles of her family members that involved alcohol and drug abuse, abandonment, and financial hardships.  Like Keyshia Cole's mother Frankie, Toya's mother Anita has also been a drug addict for many years and has several children that she has neglected throughout the course of her disease.  The big difference is that all of Anita's children are all by the same father, the man whom intially introduced her to crack.  The family was originally living in New Orleans, but were encouraged by Toya to move to Atlanta so that they could all be together.

When I say I didn't see the stereotypical portrayal of a ghetto black family struggling through life's hardships, I didn't mean that the show does not portray extremely hood moments.  For instance, the show displays Toya's two youngest brothers fighting and one later ends up being hauled off in a police car.  Also, when Toya's youngest brother Rudy confronts his father in a disrespectful and aggressive tone it leaves Toya in tears in the wake of the aftermath. 

All families fight and all families have resentments and grudges to bear.  However, what I did witness was a young woman fighting ever so valliantly for the betterment of her family.  Not only has Toya written a book about her experiences throughout her life, but she is actively persuing an acting career and is opening up a boutique in her old stomping grounds in New Orleans.  I also saw a big brother, working to gain his brothers' respect, along with their ear, as he seeks to guide them through life's ups and downs and show them the right way to handle things.  Seeing this family trying to better itself and seek resolution despite their past is so admirable.

People always seem to bash reality series like this and judge BET for producing them, but what they fail to realize is that reality shows like this are touching millions of families across the nation that have either been through the same thing or are going through it now.  Reality shows like Toya's "A Family Affair" can shed light on the real struggles of real families behind the facade of entertainment and the glitz and the glamour.  Behind her pretty face and connection to rap superstar Lil' Wayne, Toya is a mother, a sister, and a daughter, doing her best to bring her family together in love and in progress.  If that is not positive I dont know what is. 

So before you judge these shows before you even see them and write them off as a stereotypical portrayal of black people in a negative light, try watching the show in a positive mindframe and maybe you will see the positive attributes that it can provide to those who need it most.  You never know, it just might motivate you to do something better with your life, to reunite your broken family, or to be a source of positive influence for your family members who need it most.  Becanse after all, Family Comes First!


  1. I can see the validity in all of that that being said there are other black celebrity figures who do not have all the drama and issues that keyshia coles or toya carters have and do not have show. is it more interesting to watch someone struggle? and if so, what does it say about us that a successful black family with less issues is some how less entertaining?

  2. Fact is...drama IS entertaining. I'm not saying a well adjusted successful black family cannot be entertaining. Look at Run's House and Sinbad's new reality show. Two shows I enjoy watching. However, I think TV must portray all sides, not just the struggling blacks nor just the successful ones, but both! In that we have balance on the tube.

  3. It astonishes me that anyone would air their dirty laundry in this fashion. What happened to the days when African Americans took pride in themselves? We truly suffer from stockholmes syndrome; when we try to identify with our oppressors. Toya may be physically attractive, but thats the only asset she has to offer. Why is she famous or important? Simply because she was married to an airhead weirdo. Ignorant shows such as "Toya's Family Affair" is the demise of our community

  4. Anonymous what rock did you crawl from under. This young lady who could have chosen to use her given opportunity anyway she wanted chose to show the reality of many black families' struggles being faced with optimism and perseverance.You go toya. She is not to be compared to that mockery that keisha cole did to her family. No way. She is trying to share her blessing with her family while creating her own success. Give the girl credit for doing something positive with herself. At least she not popping bottles and collars. Let go of the crab syndrome.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.