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July 11, 2012

I Love My Mister Wrong

It seems that every other R&B or Hip Hop song on the radio is about a woman who can't let the man that treats her wrong go.  If its not Mary J. Blige's song "Mr. Wrong" or Jeezy's hit song "Leave You Alone", its another declaration that somehow, women are not strong enough to let go of a BAD THING because the love is so GOOD.  Where did us women get things so misconstrued along the way that we become gluttons for punishment and began to believe that because he makes us feel good in the bedroom, or can possibly deliver emotional feelings for the moment, that he deserves our time or effort?  Why do we as women overlook good men that don't necessarily fit the persona of the man that we think we want and need, that can actually treat us right and do good by us? Instead, we stick around with the players, pimps, or simply, the "emotionally unavailable" men. WHY?

Its not like these types of men show up out of nowhere and don't reveal their true selves from the beginning.  Their aura and persona shines just as brightly as their pearly whites and bulging muscles, and quite often, bulging pockets.  Us as women know what these men are about via our initial attraction to them.  The attraction is electric and cosmic.  The cocky glance and stare get us every time and all of a sudden, splash, our panties are wet with excitement.  Sadly, too often we get the short end of the stick and I'm not talking about their penis size, because usually, that's all they have to offer in the love department.  There is never a real chance at commitment or vulnerability, just a bravado that dares us to leave them, and if we do, they're on to the next leaving us torn and tattered in the aftermath.

Lyrics from Mary J. Blige's "Mr. Wrong":

Bad boys aint no good
Good boys aint no fun
Lord knows that I should
Run off with the right one
Me and Mr Wrong get along so good (so good)
Even though he breaks my heart so bad (so bad)
We got a special thing going on
Me and Mr Mister Wrong
Even if I try, no, I never could
Give him up cause his loves like that
Aint no way that I'm moving on
I love my Mr Wrong

How many times must we go through the same thing before we truly realize what is important in love and relationships?  When will we consider loving Mr. Right instead of Mr. Wrong?  When will we love ourselves enough to stop the pattern of self sabotage and self defeat regarding matters of the heart and start fresh with a focused and clear head?  All I know is I can't stand to listen to another woman sing about setting herself up for pain and regret, because she can't see past his huge and tantalizing package, as illusive as it may be.

I'm waiting for the day when the way a man makes us feel physically will always match up with our emotional wants and needs and until that day, we will never truly find true fulfillment in love.  I have been guilty of the aforementioned myself at times, which is why I say "we" and "us".  Its now time for the curse to be broken and for us to break the shackles of the love spell, which we will soon begin to realize, was never really love at all.

Do you know a woman that always falls in love with Mr. Wrong? Are you one of them?
What about Mr. Wrong attracts you and keeps you coming back for more?
Do you wish you could leave him, but simply don't feel strong enough?
Do you believe you deserve a good man aka Mr. Right?

I would love for the men to chime in as well:
Are you Mr. Right and you constantly get overlooked by women for Mr. Wrong?
Do you find that women say they want a good man, but really chase the bad boys?
As Mr. Right, have you ever contemplated playing the bad guy role to make a chick interested in you?
Do you think good guys ultimately finish last when it comes to love and relationships?

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