Men Say They Want A Good Woman, But Chase Bad Girls

I can't tell you how many R&B and Rap songs I've heard where men talk about wanting a "Bad Chick".  Yet, when you sit them down and ask them to evaluate what they really want, they say they want a "Good Woman".  I don't know about you, but it seems to me that some contradictions are going on here.  How can a woman be bad and good at the same time?  Does a woman like this even exist?

Lets first identify what men mean when they use both terms.  How does one describe a "bad bitch"?  What qualities must a woman have to be "bad"?  Well, from my experience, a bad bitch's qualities and value derive mostly from her looks.  She has a flat stomach, big butt, nice thighs and long hair.  Her makeup is always on point, hair and nails did, and she rocks the latest fashions, including status bags (Louis Vuitton, Gucci, etc.) and has a "mean" shoe game.  Yeah, that sounds like a bad bitch to me.  What else can we say about a "bad bitch"? Well, she's independent, has game and knows how to get what she wants.  Yup, that seems about right.

On the contrary, lets take a look at the true meaning behind a "good woman".  A good woman is loyal, respectable, honest, genuine and kind.  She isn't necessarily solely driven by her outer appearance as far as rocking the latest trends or the most expensive "red bottoms" because she is more focused on managing her money properly, pursuing education and/or running her household.  That being said, it doesn't mean that she has to look homely or out of date.  She can still rock the looks that compliment her figure and features and this is what makes her attractive.  Basically, her priorities are straight.  She is a good representation of herself, her man, and her family and she has values and morals that lead her through life with purpose.

If you take a look at both descriptions, they seem to be quite the opposites, however, one man seemingly wants all of these qualities in one woman.  If you ask me, this man who wants his cake and wants to eat it too is misguided and confused.  No wonder there are so many so-called "good men" who can't find a "good woman".  Could it be because his priorities aren't straight or is it that he doesn't even really know what he wants and values or even further, what he needs?

I think to a certain extent music and entertainment have brainwashed many into thinking that the bad bitch is the prize and the ultimate goal of attainment.  The bad bitch is much more of a trophy than the good woman who has the power to add true value to a man's life.  The good woman may not be the baddest, but when did we get so screwed up that the terms "bad" and "good" became the opposite of what they truly represent.

If you ask me, a good balance of both would be optimal, but to find that in a nice pretty package is extremely rare.  So it looks like we are at a standstill; Nudged between what a man wants and what he really needs.  I honestly suggest these men who are stuck in this relationship rut do some real soul searching to determine what they really want/need out of life and further, out of their life partner.  Then maybe, just maybe, we can all meet half way and everyone can be happy with the balance of what they want, need and have.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
Are you a man that declares that you want a "bad bitch"?
Are you attracted to bad bitches yet claim you want a "good woman"?
Are you mainly single because you cant find the perfect woman to fit your wants and needs?
Have you ever thought of reevaluating what you want and need out of a relationship?
Do bad bitches always seem to get you in trouble?
Are good women too boring for your lifestyle?

No Justice, No Peace: The Tragic Murder of Trayvon Martin

It seems that ever so often, amid everyday occurrences of black on black shootings, killings, rapes and murders that an extreme occurrence of a racial incident reaches the front pages of our newspapers and news shows, and forces us to take a conscious look at our country, our society, and the justice system that governs it.  I usually don't write on politics because it is such a touchy and divisive subject, but my heart would not let me let this opportunity pass to spread awareness of such a heinous an unlawful crime.

On February 26, 2012, Trayvon Martin, a 17-year old Junior at Michael Krop Senior High School, was fatally shot when walking home from the 7-Eleven in the gated community where his father's girlfriend lived in Sanford, Florida.  Trayvon was identified to 911 as a suspicious character by George Zimmerman, the local neighborhood watchman.  Zimmerman contacted the authorities and described a young suspicious male walking through the community, whom he said was walking slowly in the rain with his hand in his waistband.

Ignoring the 911 Operator's instruction to wait on the authorities before approaching the young man, Zimmerman took matters into his own hands and followed Trayvon.  What Zimmerman didnt know was Trayvon was on the phone, in the rain, talking to his longtime girlfriend (whose identity is being withheld) who was describing the entire incident to her over his cell phone.  The girlfriend has been reported as describing the incident as Trayvon stating that the man was following him. She instructed him to run, but Trayvon refused.  Very shortly thereafter, the girlfriend heard Zimmerman over the line, questioning the young man about what he was doing there and Trayvon inquiring why the man was following him.

The rest of the story is very blurry as the girlfriend describes what sounded like Trayvon being pushed, the call going dead and later, Trayvon was pronounced dead, gone forever, never to speak to his girlfriend or family again.  Sanford authorities have neglected to charge Zimmerman with any crime as they have accepted his explanation of self defense, yet, Zimmerman had no right to approach the young man in the first place.  More tidbits of information are slowly being leaked as to the actions of the authorities after the shooting.  The young man was categorized as a "John Doe" with the authorities saying they had no way of identifying his family, even though the family had filed a missing person's report shortly after his disappearance and the fact that his cell phone was on him which would give clues to his identity.

The thought of a young black male laying in the coroner's office, categorized as a "John Doe" while his parents had already filed a missing person's report, as well as the fact that the victim's cell phone was clearly on him at the incident are mind boggling.  The way in which the Sanford Police authorities have handled the case and tried to brush it under the rug is criminal.

It was not until the parents of Martin hired an attorney to bring this case to the light of American consciousness that the system has been forced to reopen the case for a grand jury investigation.  News outlets, blogs, Twitter and Facebook have been bombarded with articles, photos and updates on the evidence of the case.  The family set up an online petition on Change.org that has garnered over 850,000 signatures urging authorities to charge Zimmerman with the unlawful murder of Trayvon Martin.

Ever since hearing about this tragic story I cannot wake up in the morning without thinking about Trayvon Martin and his tragic death.  Yet another black male killed at the hands of a racist white man and I am just tired.  Someone recently mentioned why do black folks get mad when a white man kills a black man and dont get outraged at the black on black crime that occurs in our neighborhoods everyday.  Well, I am appalled by both occurrences, everyday, however, the difference is that the black men that kill other black men go to jail everyday, yet on the contrary, it seems as though the white men who kill black people seem to go free in this country.  Now that, I do have a problem with.

It is time for us to stand up for our children and protect them and not let them be victim's to this hateful and unequal justice system.  I am tired of our young black men dying at the hands of a white judge or Police Officer who would like nothing more than to execute them or put them in jail, regardless of their innocence.  When will we as a people fight the system and show them that we hold the power in this country and will NOT ALLOW another young black man to die at the hands of a racist white man.

I hate to make things about race, but the facts are the facts.  The fact is that Trayvon was not a suspicious character, but a young man who had a future.  Racial profiling in this country will never stop, but there needs to be standards put in place to protect the innocent American citizens from unlawful searches and seizures or suspicions, just because they are black or brown.  It angers me when I hear people say there is nothing to fight for in this country.  That we should just take what they give us because we dont have any real power.  I'm glad our ancestors didnt think like that because we'd probably still be unable to vote and exercise our civil liberties if they used that type of mentality and reasoning.  The 850K + are exercising their rights, their power and their voice.

The day we do not have to fight for freedom will never come.  Freedom is not free.  It is a civil right, but must be regulated and monitored by all, not just the government.  Lets stop waiting for tragedies like this to understand where the real fight is and keep our priorities focused on every front, whether it be the legal system, education, health care, or housing.

Although Trayvon Martin was killed for no reason, his death does not have to be in vein.  I pray that the grand jury finds this man guilty of murder and he becomes a strong message, to the world and to the racist white men or racist men/women of any race, that you will not get away with killing one of ours.

SIGN THE PETITION
http://www.change.org/petitions/prosecute-the-killer-of-our-son-17-year-old-trayvon-martin

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
Feel free to express your opinions on the case, findings, the Sanford Florida Police Department, District Attorney, etc.

Men's Spring 2012 Fashion Trends

Well, today is the first day of Spring and I thought it would be great to showcase some fashion for the male persuasion.  As I have said in the past, this blog has something for everyone so please feel free to suggest or request any specific topics or posts that you would like me to write about or speak to.

The weather in Los Angeles has been crazy sporadic and one literally must check the weather forecast daily to determine what type of clothing you will wear for the day.  As we have seen in 2012 Women's Fashion posts, color is all the rave!!!!  For men, bold spring/summer hues will be the standout for the season, as well as pastels and neutrals.  Denim never goes out of style, but what about incorporating denim shirts or blazers into your Spring/Summer wardrobe???

With men, its all about the shoes so I've selected a series of HOT styles that will transition your look from the beach or pool party, to a walk on the Boardwalk, all the way to a dinner date or club/lounge. 
Spring is also ALL about accessories so I've also posted some pictures of the hottest accessories of the season that you should get your hands on pronto!  The best part about men's fashion is layering, so be sure to get your cool cotton separates, scarves and more to pair with blazers, sweatshirts, cargos and lightweight sweaters.

DISCLAIMER: I want to say this now before I get negative feedback from the men.  In no way do I want you to LOOK like these men in the pictures below.  The point of the pictures are to illustrate the HOT new trends and for YOU to cater it to your personal style.  I would never advise for someone to go and cop the entire outfit as displayed below, but please do incorporate the looks that speak to you into your signature style and upgrade your wardrobe for the season!!!! Any questions...feel free to ask below in the comment section.

THE CLOTHES

THE SHOES

THE ACCESSORIES

 HAPPY SHOPPING!!!!

Hip Hop Power Couples I Love

In the past, I have highlighted Power Couples I Love featuring none other than Michelle and Barack Obama, Beyonce and Jay-Z, Seal & Heidi Klum, David and Victoria Beckham and more.  Now, I would like to shed light on the Hip Hop Power Couples I Love.  Its no secret that Hip Hop has pushed its way into the forefront of marketing, entertainment, fashion and media.  Hip Hop is now a multi-billion dollar industry and many of the artists responsible for pushing the envelope and developing it into what it is today are getting older, settling down and having children, and its a beautiful thing.

Take for instance, T.I. and Tiny Harris, one of my favorite Hip Hop Power Couples.  Not only does T.I. have platinum selling artists like B.O.B. on his Grand Hustle music imprint, but he is also finally getting his clothing line, AKOO, off the ground and into major outlets around the country.  Tiny has shown her boss mentality via shows like "Tiny and Toya", one of the highest rated reality TV shows in BET's history, her burgeoning girl group, the OMG Girls, as well as, her nail bar and upcoming ventures.  I have to give props to this couple because in light of police arrests, jail stints and tons of negative PR, they still find time to run their businesses, raise their children and keep things spicy in their relationship, as is evident on their hit reality show T.I. & Tiny: The Family Hustle.

Next on my list is Jim Jones and his beautiful, yet gangsta fiancé, Chrissy Lampkin.  These two, like T.I. and Tiny, have been together for several years, but have yet to produce any offspring, until now (she's pregnant).  Jim Jones has been working to pick up the pieces of his now defunct rap group, Dipset, has created a clothing line called Vampire Life and is now the star of the hit reality show on VH1, Love & Hip Hop, alongside his partner in crime, Chrissy.  Chrissy is always there to support her man and will literally slap-a-bitch if they come too close or try to disrespect.  While I don't value the violent and aggressive nature in which these two handle personal relations, I do admire their admiration, loyalty and love for one another.  I wish these two luck on their upcoming nuptials and child.

And last, but not least, the third couple on my Hip Hop Power Couples I Love List is Antonia "Toya" Wright and Memphitz.  Toya is Lil' Wayne's ex-wife and is the mother of his first child, Reginae.  But don't think she has let the divorce from Lil' Wayne and his multiple baby mamas slow her down.  To add to her growing resume and NY Times Best Seller, "Priceless Inspirations", she has opened her Garb boutique located in her hometown of New Orleans. Toya is also the star of a couple hit reality shows, including Tiny & Toya and Toya: A Family Affair, which I absolutely love and have featured on BornTooBlog in the past (see Toya Carters' A Family Affair).  Toya is now married to music mogul Mickey "Memphitz" Wright who is the former host of BET's show "The Deal" and is now the Senior Vice President of A&R at Jive Records. Memphitz is known for signing T-Pain to the label and is now mentoring and developing new Hip Hop artists like Key Swag 3000 who has appeared on 106 and Park's Top 10 Countdown.  I love how this couple shuns the outside drama and continues to focus on their marriage and family, as a unit. I'm excited to see what both of them have in store for the future.
 

I wish the best of luck to these couples in love and their future endeavors and hope and pray that 1/3 of them do not end up on my Hollywood Divorce post in a few months like the last edition. LOL

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
Do you look to these Hip Hop Power Couples as inspiration in your love life?
Is there anything that these couples have done publicly that you would never do?
Would you agree to put your relationship on blast on reality TV, if it meant free publicity for your business endeavors?
What do you think will be the secret to their success and longevity? What advice would you give them?

Fashion Spotlight: Something Old, Something New Boutique Spring 2012 Fashion Show

I recently did an Entrepreneurial Spotlight on Something Old, Something New in January of this year (http://borntooblog.blogspot.com/2012/01/entrepreneurial-spotlight.html). Now I'm back with a Fashion Spotlight featuring Spring 2012 looks fresh off the runway. 

My good friend Kenya Kirkland - @SugarScoutC has totally outdone herself with her Spring 2012 fashion show styled by Ashley Branagh @AshleyRamona, stylist extraordinaire.  I must say that Something Old, Something New brought the runways of Paris to the streets with their sexy and classy interpretation of Spring Chic, yet promise not to break your pockets with trendy designs for the Fashionista on a budget.  The beautiful color palette that graced the runway was inspiring and they even featured a Size Sexy (plus size) model to rock the looks made especially for the thick girls.  @SugarScoutC also featured her custom-made jewelry designs on all of the models, as well as her custom jean short creations.  But there is no need for a grand introduction.  The pictures speak volumes.

Check out the pictorial below:

 

Kenya Kirkland aka Sugar Scout Couture and her mother

I don't know about you, but this fashion show has me excited for Spring.  There were plenty of pieces that I can rock straight off the runway, but the first piece of business will be to get my tail down to Something Old, Something New and cop them before the fashionistas grab them all up at 7525 S. Western Ave B, Los Angeles, CA 90047.

Styling by: Ashley Branagh
Photos:  Mike Melendy Photography
Makeup: Jessica Matlock, Tira Dale and Brandy Allen
Hair: Ashley Alexandria

To check out more fashions and purchase some of these looks online visit: http://www.officialsugarscoutcouture.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/SugarScoutC
Sugar Scout Couture Blog: http://sugarscoutcouture.blogspot.com/