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March 20, 2011

Where's Daddy?

One pet peeve of mine has always been women who keep their exes away from their children for no respectable reason.  I can understand a father who is verbally or physically abusive, threatens your well-being or is involved with negative activity that is not suitable for a child.  But what about the mothers who keep their children away from their fathers because they can no longer have said man, or does it because of a personal vendetta that has nothing to do with the child?  These situations happen all the time and I know how harmful these actions can be to a child.

Fact is, children need BOTH parents in order to become well-adjusted, well-rounded individuals.  I am in no way saying that children with only one parent will not turn out as good as children who had both parents.  That would be absurd.  However, I am saying that a child's identity comes from both of their parents, their heritage and family history and background.  When one or more of these aspects are lacking, it can be a hinderance to a child's development.

How many mothers have you observed that won't allow their child's father to come see the children unless they "see" them first?  Or even won't allow the father to see their children when they are unable to provide monetary support.  Occurrences like this really bug me and make me wonder what the real issue is.  Isn't the happiness of our children the most important thing?  I have yet to see a child that doesn't want to be around their father as long as they have not hurt them emotionally or physically.  Even still, children love their parents no matter what and want to be around them regardless of what they've put them through in the past.

How could a mother who claims to love her children and want the best for them turn around and shut their father out of their life for selfish reasons?  What kind of mother could conciously, with no guilt, refuse a father's request to see his children because he doesn't have a job that can collect child support?

If you are a mother or father who is keeping your children away from their other rightful parent for selfish or prideful reasons, I urge you to stop and think about how this might hurt the child now and in the long run, or even worse, how it can create long-term resentment from your children once they are old enough to decipher what's really going on.

I'm curious to see how men/women feel about this.  Especially the parents.  Do you think it is okay to keep your child's father out of his life if he is unable to pay child support?  If the child's father no longer wants to be with you or left you for another woman, do you think it is okay to deny him visitation?  Men: Have you dealt with a mother like this that kept you away from your child for selfish reasons?  Please share your experiences...

1 comment:

  1. I understand both side's of the issue being a single mother who goes above and beyond to make sure her son is loved and safe and always taken care of , i find that every circumstance and situation is different however mama's baby daddy's maybe is a saying that many single mother's are all too familiar with i believe alot of the father's in this generation talk a great game on how they want to be a huge part of there kid's live's but mentally there still children themselves and are not emotionally and mentally prepaired to deal with the day in day out responsibility that come's with being a parent and they mentally check out and the mother is left with the weight of the world as well as the sole responsibility of there child i think mom's are sick of there kids being disappointed and have taken a stand on behalf of there kids and have choose to keep there kids away from the father's until the father is able to step up to the plate and give the child what they deserve which is a consistent father figure in there live's just my opinion though.... great topic keep up the great work


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