I've spoken about this topic in relationships before, however, this time I am focusing on the open communication involved in relationships. What does it take for a couple in this day and age to survive infidelity? It seems as though you hear about new breakups and divorces every week, yet there are still couples that remain together, after all these years. What is their secret? Do they know something us single people don't?
As I was watching Basketball Wives last night, Chad Ochocinco and Evelyn Lozado were discussing how they could beat the odds and make their relationship work amongst the gossip blogs, hearsay and just flat out rumors that one was constantly cheating on the other. Evelyn explained to Chad that she needs him to be open and honest with her. She stated that she would rather know that he was going to have sex with another woman from him first, before it hit the blogs. She explained that she is not stupid enough to think that a man of his caliber that is presented with the best pickings of women in the world would not want to stray. She puts her ego to the back burner and asks him to be honest when he felt the need to dip into another pond.
Chad then responded by saying that he would also like to bring a lady home to their bedroom every now and then and this would keep him from straying as much. Lozado then responded by saying that she would have to be attracted to the lady he would like to bring home before anything could jump off.
I have discussed this matter for years with male and female friends alike. It seems that the only relationships that are intact and thriving are those where either the woman turns a blind eye to his indiscretions or they have an understanding that if and when the man does stray, that he will keep it away from the family and cause no public embarrassment or scrutiny to his spouse. My frustration in this matter in the past has led me to think that the only viable option is to instruct your significant other to keep their cheating under wraps so that it will never get back to me. Plainly stated, the man is instructed to use a condom at all times, not to forge special relationships with the 3rd party, never bring anything to the home or workplace and use discretion when engaging with said individual in public or private.
Is this the only option women have these days to keep their relationships happy and healthy? Do women have to forgo their needs for their partner to be faithful in order to stay married? It seems that every time I watch HBO documentaries their is a sex doc speaking of swingers and alternative lifestyles of married couples, whereas the openness is what keeps the relationships afloat.
I really would love to hear feedback from my male and female readers:
WOMEN
Would you allow your significant other to cheat as long as he/she didn't produce any children, diseases or public scrutiny from the affair?
Do you feel cheating should be prohibited no matter if they tell you or not?
Would you want to know if your husband planned to cheat, even if you gave him the FREE PASS to do so or would you not want to know?
MEN
Is it smart for a woman to allow her man breathing room in the cheating department along with a list of restrictions?
Should women allow men a FREE PASS as long as he doesn't bring anything home or cause her embarrassment by the affair?
Are women that think their husbands will never cheat throughout the duration of their marriages clueless?
TIME TO WEIGH IN....SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS!!!
Is it smart for a woman to allow her man breathing room in the cheating department along with a list of restrictions? Yes it's smart, and i think it goes the same for men, giving their woman room to know their own limitations. Space makes you feel freedom and in my book freedom fosters security. But no blind eye to other women, I think if there is another woman some sort of discussion of whats going on, no one likes playing the fool.
ReplyDeleteShould women allow men a FREE PASS as long as he doesn't bring anything home or cause her embarrassment by the affair? There is no free pass because sooner or later one day somethings going to happen to cause a problem and shits going to hit the fan, better if your going to do it lay the ground work 1st.
Are women that think their husbands will never cheat throughout the duration of their marriages clueless? No, because there are some men totally devoted to their wives. but in cases where a guy has another, I think the man is more clueless thinking his wife his deaf, dumb and blind, everyone knows whats going on...people get mad when they feel they are being played as a dumby.