Rihanna has a song on the Loud album called "S&M". For those who don't know what S&M stands for, it means Sadism and Masochism. Sadism means you derive pleasure from inflicting pain or watching pain inflicted on others. Masochism means you get pleasure from receiveing pain or being humiliated. Now don't get your panties in a bunch just yet. These sexual acts aren't as weird or as degrading as you might think...depending on how far you might want to take things. However, this kind of sexual activity is not for the faint of heart.
Rihanna's song and video S&M touches on this sexual phenomenon that I am sure we have all been exposed to one way or another in our lifetime. My fav lines go like this:
Feels so good being bad
There's no way I'm turning back
Now the pain is my pleasure cause nothing could measure
Love is great, love is fine
Love is great, love is fine
Out the box, outta line
The affliction of the feeling leaves me wanting more
Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me
Stills From Rihanna's S&M Video
Sounds fun, right? Now before you shun the whole idea and proclaim that you will never get down in this matter, ask your partner if they've ever had a fantasy of tying you up, spanking you, or would they get some sort of pleasure if you did this to them? If you're a chick and you asked your macho guy, I'm assuming he said no. If you really have your heart set on it don't give up just yet because there might still be hope.
With all alternative fun ways of having sex (toys, role playing, etc.) there has to be some buy-in from your partner before you start whipping out the whips and chains and bells and whistles. Be sure to slowly orient them to the idea and ease them into any toys or sexual games that you want to incorporate in the bedroom or out :-). You might scare them away if you bring out your bag of goodies and don't prep them for it. Tips for successfully ushering your lover into your S&M kick go as follows:
1. Make sure they are relaxed and are open to new things.
2. Try using toys that you can incorporate on you both.
3. Sometimes trying it out on yourself in front of them might make them less weary.
4. Express that this is your fantasy and you want him/her to be a part of it.
5. Make sure you know what you're doing. You don't want to scar them for life by using a toy in the wrong way.
Okay my lovelies....I'm dying to know. Are you into S&M? Are you thinking about trying it with your mate? Have you done it before? Have you tried it before and realized it wasn't for you? Would you be open to experimentation? Spill the beans...anonymously...of course (*wink*)
Here is Rihanna's S&M vid for good measure (which I absolutely love):
ENJOY!
Ok, When I was a young man (teenage), I felt I mastered sex as much as I could at that time and became very content with my sex life which consisted of 2 or 3 nice young ladies who I kept in rotation through monthly. Things changed suddenly because I was shot and lost the use of my leg and the ability to have sex. Over the next years after getting shot, I regained the ability to have sex but I felt like I was not as good as I was before. I meet a young lady during this time who said she liked it rough, so I saw this as a chance experiment. She told me she was into toys but I felt the toys would undermine my manhood so I left those out. Things started with a bit of butt slapping, hair pulling, but soon it turn to choking, spiting, foul language. It seemed the more I did it the more power I felt but after it was over I felt worried. I and the young lady did that for a few months but I had to stop because I felt like I was losing myself, I start to associate sex with anger. I realized I was taking out my bad feeling of being injured on her at the same time I was stroking my ego making feel like that strong young man I use to be. Today S & M has its place in my bedroom but I never let rage take over, rather I use it to get my partners attention and to stretch our boundaries ever so much. Over all S & M is cool just know your limitations.
ReplyDeletei myself never really indulged in these types of sexual activities.... i have spanked pulled hair and slightly choked women i have been with, but not on a major level.... i don't mind dishing it out but getting it in return is not for me.....sincerely your boy 38
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